I believe in forgiveness.
I wake up and walk into the living room to find my black lab, Chance, sleeping on the couch. He is not supposed to be on the couch. He knows he’s not supposed to be on the couch. He rolls over, yawns, and looks at me with those big brown eyes so unapologetically that I could strangle him, but I believe in forgiveness. I grab his leash and take him outside. In my slightly hungover morning daze, I manage to step in great big pile of dog shit. The apartment complex provides outdoor stands with bags to dispose of animal waste, but I guess some people are too busy to bother. I could shoot them, but I believe in forgiveness. I leave my feces-caked shoes on the porch and come inside to make breakfast. There are bread crumbs surrounding the toaster and two small jelly stained circles on the countertop of the kitchen that I spent two hours deep cleaning yesterday. I follow the trail to my roommate’s room and stand outside the door. Should I knock and then bitch or just yell from outside? I weigh my options, but I walk away. I believe in forgiveness. I get ready for the day, get into my car, and head for school. Like always, I take the Keller Springs Dallas North Tollway entrance. The person directly in front of me seems to have parked their Hummer, complete with one of those awesome W stickers, at the tollbooth. Apparently, despite the Bush taxcuts for the wealthiest Americans, this shithead is having trouble finding quarters. I could start honking so obnoxiously that I give the guy an anxiety attack or flip him off for kicks…but I don’t. I believe in forgiveness. I turn on the radio to KRLD News Radio 1080. It’s not my station of choice, but I had been listening for a weather and traffic update the night before. The Ernie and Jay Mid-day program is on, and before I can change the channel, I hear them comparing Hillary Clinton’s laugh to the cackle of the Wicked Witch of the West. For the life of me, I cannot fathom how the sound of someone’s laughter is more worthy of discussion than the capability of the presidential candidates to inflict positive changes upon our country. I pick up my cell phone and dial in immediately. To my personal gratification, I get through right away. I am put on hold during a commercial break and use the time to plan my vicious attack, but when they welcome me to the show, I speak my mind in a mild tone and thank them for their time. I believe in forgiveness.
At some point during the day, someone will look at me funny or say something derogatory about my sexuality, my big hair, or my annoying laugh. At some point in the days to come, somebody I care about will hurt me, someone I trust will betray me, and someone I love will make me cry. And yet I know, that because we are all equally human and equally flawed, I will at some point do these same things to others.
I will forget to pick up Chance’s crap, I will spill jelly on the counter, and I will be the person holding up traffic at the tollbooth. I will write an article that I think is amazing but makes somebody throw up in their mouth. I will hurt someone I care about, betray someone’s trust, and make somebody cry. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope that all the people I piss off in this lifetime, share this one belief. I believe in forgiveness.